MY CANCER HAS A "NICKNAME"

     I'm sorry but I've owed any of you who are still logging on an update for a few weeks.  I've had a less than great couple of weeks since my last visit to UCSF. 
     Dr. Burch, the orthopedic surgeon says that I'm about as good as I'm gonna get.  So they tally is 7 collapsed vertebra, BUT with 3 repaired as well as they could with kyphoplasty, I'm doing well, "considering".  That seems to be the catch phrase for all of my UCSF doctors.
     Dr. Henry, my pain management doc said that the ablation is doing what it should, blocking the pain signals for 3 of the 7 collapsed vertebra.  I asked about the other four and she said that they didn't want me to be pain free because they found that people they fixed really well felt better than they should have and did things that caused worse problems than they originally had.  As I tried to explain how my level of pain is pretty high after just a short time sitting, standing or working out, she smiled and said that she was "Ok with that".  She doesn't even know me, but still doesn't trust me.  I'm hurt.
     Dr. Wolf, though, was the highlight.  As I have shared several times previously, he has dangled the "I might consider taking you off of your chemo to let your internal organs try and recover from all of the damage" carrot in front of me.  So I asked about it.  He very thoughtfully looked at the file and calmly said: "I have looked at everything in your file and records.  I've talked about you with Drs. from all over the world during the international myeloma conference in February.  Kevin, your cancer is like "Jaws".  He may be deep.  He may be shallow, but we know he's there.  If you dangle a leg out there for him, he's going to attack it and drag you under. I just can't take you off of your chemo."  He went on to explain that at least with my internal organs going downhill the way they are, we have numbers and time we can work with.  If he took me off the chemo, I would need to get blood tests every week, but even then that may be too much time.  If it metastized again it would kill me. My internal organs are too weak to be able to survive another series of treatments.  SO, we stay the course, and I'm OK with that.
     The good news is that the chemo is still working at killing the cancer before it can spread.  The side effects just remind me that I'm still alive and have at least some of all of my faculties.
     Weds. is another appointment with Dr. Malone is SLO.  He'll like the Jaws analogy.  I want to see his reaction.  Just keep those infusions coming...
     Hoping that all of you are doing well and that I'm the worst off person you know.  Let's just try and keep it in my family, and out of yours. OK?